Daraba means to beat/to hit. Apologists hate it when you hold the mirror... domestic violence is so normalized, they don't see anything wrong with it... even women are conditioned to believe in it... I've heard women say "if he beats you that means he loves and cares about you."
The religion infantilizes and dehumanizes women and girls.
My question is, if God meant ‘one should walk away’ why did God use a word which could so easily mean hitting? Did God not know how people would interpret and practice it?
Clearly, Quran’s writer meant it as hitting, Muhammad kept repeating the same message again and again.
Correct... the author meant it as a hitting... it's crazy that the book laid the map for emotional and physical abuse and everyone was like "God loves us."
Bingo. Even the first two steps, verbal abuse and emotional abandonment are derogatory and hierarchal. And when the husband commits the same crime of 'Nushuz', well, it is not sinful to settle because "settlement is best." And Muslim women be like Islam elevated women.
Reinterpretation is also used in Christianity. And when something in the new testament contradicts the old they choose the new over the old, saying it’s a new covenant but when it aligns they keep it or say it’s fulfilling prophecy
In following the debate over this fraught verse, I saw one feminist apologetic argue that daraba meant "feather." Which isn't even a verb, and makes no sense in context, although I believe she was referring to the revisions (which you'll see in many modern translations) "strike (lightly)."
The word (lightly) in parenthesis in a human insertion. There is no word in the Arabic verse that means lightly or qualifies the verb in anyway. I have heard a range of “assigned objects,” feather, pillow, toothbrush, twig. I simply ask if I replace the same meaning in 47:27, will angels also use this object to torture the hell dwellers?
The thing is. “Lightly” is still offensive. Why is this written as ok? Disciplining women like children and not men? Why is emotional and physical distance ascribed for men to do to women and women are actually forbidden from being able to do the same? If not strike, the Quran at the very LEAST still seems to codify women’s inferiority.
Yes! Even the first two steps before "beating lightly" are not okay. Verbally "admonish"? Why? You cannot have a conversation like two adults? Abandon her in the bed? As in emotionally abuse her? By the time you get to "lightly" the problem is already too deep. Physical violence is not okay at any intensity. No matter how 'light'.
All this coming from the same tradition that tells women are they’ll be cursed for not coming to their husband’s sexual bed when he calls unless it’s for “a good reason”. But he can abandon her? Sure even if you’re arguing that that’s from Hadith. The same ayah tells us a good woman is obedient and guard’s herself for her husband and guards her husband’s things. Altogether? Yikes it does not look good. Especially as it does not demand men to be obedient to their wives.
Quran says a good woman is "devoutly obedient." Imagine being devoutly obedient to a cheater sleeping with multiple other women, waiting for your turn to be obedient to him. So disgusting.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! I'm an ex-Muslim and my native language is Arabic and seeing people do mental gymnastics to prove that daraba DOESN'T mean hit made me feel so gaslit. If we want to use "daraba" to mean something like hunger/labour strike (as in to strike "FROM" something, in this case, husbands striking "from" their wives) you'd have to say idrab 3an. 3an means from. To say "idrab your wives" and "idrab 3an your wives" are two completely different things. Grammar matters and here it's very clear. Every other time idrab/darb/daraba is used to mean something other than hit, it's paired with something like fe/3an/min/etc OR it's paired with something idiomatic like example or land (to hit (give) an example or to hit (travel) the land), in which this is a well known and acknowledged saying.
You are most welcome and THANK YOU SO MUCH for explaining this so well. My native language is not Arabic and the information in this article came from years of learning and researching. Every time someone would confidently state a new meaning of 'daraba,' I would research it and it would fall flat when dismantled. As a Muslim woman, it was so disheartening.
the purpose of this coercive 3-step counter-nushuz strategy is to make the wife obey her husband, a "gentle" beating, if there's such a thing, defies the purpose of this verse. the beating has to be painful enough to coerce the wife into obeying her husband.
Agree. We even see that in Sunnah when Muhammad shoved Aisha in the chest ‘painfully’ for the crime of following her at night to check if he was going to cheat (like many wives with a history of husband’s cheating would).
Daraba means to beat/to hit. Apologists hate it when you hold the mirror... domestic violence is so normalized, they don't see anything wrong with it... even women are conditioned to believe in it... I've heard women say "if he beats you that means he loves and cares about you."
The religion infantilizes and dehumanizes women and girls.
My question is, if God meant ‘one should walk away’ why did God use a word which could so easily mean hitting? Did God not know how people would interpret and practice it?
Clearly, Quran’s writer meant it as hitting, Muhammad kept repeating the same message again and again.
Correct... the author meant it as a hitting... it's crazy that the book laid the map for emotional and physical abuse and everyone was like "God loves us."
Bingo. Even the first two steps, verbal abuse and emotional abandonment are derogatory and hierarchal. And when the husband commits the same crime of 'Nushuz', well, it is not sinful to settle because "settlement is best." And Muslim women be like Islam elevated women.
Reinterpretation is also used in Christianity. And when something in the new testament contradicts the old they choose the new over the old, saying it’s a new covenant but when it aligns they keep it or say it’s fulfilling prophecy
Most of the other religions have found ways to evolve. Islam, unfortunately, warns against “innovation” and is very resistant to evolving.
In following the debate over this fraught verse, I saw one feminist apologetic argue that daraba meant "feather." Which isn't even a verb, and makes no sense in context, although I believe she was referring to the revisions (which you'll see in many modern translations) "strike (lightly)."
The word (lightly) in parenthesis in a human insertion. There is no word in the Arabic verse that means lightly or qualifies the verb in anyway. I have heard a range of “assigned objects,” feather, pillow, toothbrush, twig. I simply ask if I replace the same meaning in 47:27, will angels also use this object to torture the hell dwellers?
The thing is. “Lightly” is still offensive. Why is this written as ok? Disciplining women like children and not men? Why is emotional and physical distance ascribed for men to do to women and women are actually forbidden from being able to do the same? If not strike, the Quran at the very LEAST still seems to codify women’s inferiority.
Yes! Even the first two steps before "beating lightly" are not okay. Verbally "admonish"? Why? You cannot have a conversation like two adults? Abandon her in the bed? As in emotionally abuse her? By the time you get to "lightly" the problem is already too deep. Physical violence is not okay at any intensity. No matter how 'light'.
All this coming from the same tradition that tells women are they’ll be cursed for not coming to their husband’s sexual bed when he calls unless it’s for “a good reason”. But he can abandon her? Sure even if you’re arguing that that’s from Hadith. The same ayah tells us a good woman is obedient and guard’s herself for her husband and guards her husband’s things. Altogether? Yikes it does not look good. Especially as it does not demand men to be obedient to their wives.
Quran says a good woman is "devoutly obedient." Imagine being devoutly obedient to a cheater sleeping with multiple other women, waiting for your turn to be obedient to him. So disgusting.
Urghhh I never realised how much more the word “devoutly” adds to the whole thing. Like “obedient” on its own is one thing…
Is it ok if I message you for your thoughts on something?
It's just a way to make scriptural authorization men hitting women look less bad.
Yes, like I said "emergency surgery to save the reputation."
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! I'm an ex-Muslim and my native language is Arabic and seeing people do mental gymnastics to prove that daraba DOESN'T mean hit made me feel so gaslit. If we want to use "daraba" to mean something like hunger/labour strike (as in to strike "FROM" something, in this case, husbands striking "from" their wives) you'd have to say idrab 3an. 3an means from. To say "idrab your wives" and "idrab 3an your wives" are two completely different things. Grammar matters and here it's very clear. Every other time idrab/darb/daraba is used to mean something other than hit, it's paired with something like fe/3an/min/etc OR it's paired with something idiomatic like example or land (to hit (give) an example or to hit (travel) the land), in which this is a well known and acknowledged saying.
You are most welcome and THANK YOU SO MUCH for explaining this so well. My native language is not Arabic and the information in this article came from years of learning and researching. Every time someone would confidently state a new meaning of 'daraba,' I would research it and it would fall flat when dismantled. As a Muslim woman, it was so disheartening.
the purpose of this coercive 3-step counter-nushuz strategy is to make the wife obey her husband, a "gentle" beating, if there's such a thing, defies the purpose of this verse. the beating has to be painful enough to coerce the wife into obeying her husband.
Agree. We even see that in Sunnah when Muhammad shoved Aisha in the chest ‘painfully’ for the crime of following her at night to check if he was going to cheat (like many wives with a history of husband’s cheating would).