Thanks for this brilliant piece. It’s always struck me as odd that men are allowed multiple wives but women can’t have multiple husbands (not that I’d want even one but it’s a principle).
You addressed quite well the effects of polygyny. A just god would at the very least consider the effects on the children of such an arrangement. Polygyny brings conflict.
I didn’t grow up Muslim but my culture allows men to have multiple wives with no express provision on time or justice. My grandfather had 3 wives (rumored to be 5) that he couldn’t afford to provide for. Decades after his death, there’s still an unspoken division between the families down to the third generation. The competition and resentment is still present.
Polygyny in my opinion, is a bribe for men to follow the religion or culture and a way to keep the women in line.
Thank you for your thoughtful comments. I have seen polygyny causing more problems than it solves. TBH it is evidence against the divine origin of Islam in so many ways. I am sorry that you experienced this in your family. I agree with you that polygyny, houries etc. are bribes to entice men.
The argument that women can't marry more than one husband because paternity is so important also falls apart when we remember that a child born out of wedlock isn't considered as belonging to the father. Despite genetic relation, Islamically, the man has no obligation to the child because it isn't considered his. Paternity only matters when we want to restrict women. It suddenly doesn't matter when men have to face the consequences of their actions.
Forensic logic. "Divine" sanction for male privilege in so many directions has had devastating effects on women and children, on captives, on poor or divorced women forced to become third wives. The number of wives is theoretically unlimiited, between the male privilege of divorce and the "women your right hands possess." Most women know that polygyny centers the desires of men, but your documentation of the harm to children is an important piece.
Polygyny literally leads to generational harm. My argument is simple, a divine timeless being would have known before sanctioning it. These rules sound like they are written by a man who cannot think beyond his own carnal desires.
I understand that as an exception to the no more than 4 wives rule, Muslims believe that Allah, speaking through his Prophet Mohammed in Surah 33.50, granted that very same Prophet the unique right to keep more than the normal quota of 4 wives.
I understand there is research showing a deep historical pattern that societies that permit polygyny are more violent than those in which marriage is monogamous. Other things being equal, if one man can have 4 wives means 3 other men with no wife, hence more violence between men to capture women, and fewer men subject to the restraining influence of a wife and responsibility for children.
Thanks for this brilliant piece. It’s always struck me as odd that men are allowed multiple wives but women can’t have multiple husbands (not that I’d want even one but it’s a principle).
You addressed quite well the effects of polygyny. A just god would at the very least consider the effects on the children of such an arrangement. Polygyny brings conflict.
I didn’t grow up Muslim but my culture allows men to have multiple wives with no express provision on time or justice. My grandfather had 3 wives (rumored to be 5) that he couldn’t afford to provide for. Decades after his death, there’s still an unspoken division between the families down to the third generation. The competition and resentment is still present.
Polygyny in my opinion, is a bribe for men to follow the religion or culture and a way to keep the women in line.
Thank you for your thoughtful comments. I have seen polygyny causing more problems than it solves. TBH it is evidence against the divine origin of Islam in so many ways. I am sorry that you experienced this in your family. I agree with you that polygyny, houries etc. are bribes to entice men.
The argument that women can't marry more than one husband because paternity is so important also falls apart when we remember that a child born out of wedlock isn't considered as belonging to the father. Despite genetic relation, Islamically, the man has no obligation to the child because it isn't considered his. Paternity only matters when we want to restrict women. It suddenly doesn't matter when men have to face the consequences of their actions.
Very true.
Forensic logic. "Divine" sanction for male privilege in so many directions has had devastating effects on women and children, on captives, on poor or divorced women forced to become third wives. The number of wives is theoretically unlimiited, between the male privilege of divorce and the "women your right hands possess." Most women know that polygyny centers the desires of men, but your documentation of the harm to children is an important piece.
Polygyny literally leads to generational harm. My argument is simple, a divine timeless being would have known before sanctioning it. These rules sound like they are written by a man who cannot think beyond his own carnal desires.
Well, exactly. And lacking in empathy for what those rules inflict on women, and girls
Totally. They treat women as half human with no acute feelings.
Dayouth is my new favourite slur
😆
I understand that as an exception to the no more than 4 wives rule, Muslims believe that Allah, speaking through his Prophet Mohammed in Surah 33.50, granted that very same Prophet the unique right to keep more than the normal quota of 4 wives.
I understand there is research showing a deep historical pattern that societies that permit polygyny are more violent than those in which marriage is monogamous. Other things being equal, if one man can have 4 wives means 3 other men with no wife, hence more violence between men to capture women, and fewer men subject to the restraining influence of a wife and responsibility for children.
Quran cited Muhammad as an excellent example for all times. And then proceeded to grant him all kinds of exceptions.